Source: YouTube

While the big man is busy making toys at the North Pole, we gotta give a shoutout to the mall Santas all across the country! Instead of Plain White Tee’s “Hey There Delilah” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Hey There Mall Santa”

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Hey there Mall Santa, What ya doin’ outside Macy’s?
Looking Slightly Overwhelmed by the Parade of Crying Babies
Coming thru
400 children Stare at you
Nick Cannon’s Crew…

Like a Sweet Grandpa, tryin’ to grant what kids are wishin’
But that last one, asked if you could break his Daddy out of prison
Christmas Night…
And Handed You a Map to Cell Block Five
You said you’d try…

Ohhh, at Noon, You Gotta pee
Ohhh, but your Break isn’t til 3
Ohhh, Kid Lets out a Sneeze
Ohhh, Plus He Cut the Cheese
Your suit needs more Febreeze…

Hey there Mall Santa, I know your days are Feeling Long,
Cuz I just saw you in the Food Court, Stress eat 14 Cinnabons
And that’s not good…
Face Scrunched up more than Clint Eastwood’s
You sure You’re Good?

Hey there Mall Santa, though your prices are insane,
I would still pay the $50 dollars, and when i leave I’ll Make it Rain.
You Did it All, Stuff Singles in your Overalls
Meet you in the Stalls…

Ohhh, In Santa we Believe
Ohhh, but your real name is Steve,
Ohhh, North Pole’s where ya Sleep
Not, outside in your Jeep

Yea Santa’s the Mall’s Biggest Star
Flanked by his Elf Bodyguards
Got boots with the fur, like Flo Rida Sang
There’s Bratty Kids Demanding Stuff
Impatient Parents Won’t Shut up
Some Weirdo tried to Grab your Candy Cane!
But Santa, Once your Shift is Thru
You’ll’ve Earned yourself a Beer or Two
It’s Last Call at the Rainforest Cafe!!
Now onto PF Changs!

Hey There Mall Santa, Damn you old, but still you’re Sparky,
You’ve had more Butts on your Lap, Than all of Vegas’ Bachelor Parties
That’s My Dude
Pimpin’ in your crushed Red Velvet Suit
The Only real “Hot Topic” here is you
Taylor Swift wants YOU in her J-Crew,
And Mrs. Santa too

Ohhh, here still Christmas Eve..
Ohhh, your Legs Are Feeling Weak
Ohhh, that last kid was Heavy
Ho, Ho-ho-Ho’s On Repeat
at Santa’s Meet & Greet…


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