Kleenex Blow Em (Beyonce Parody) | Young Jeffrey’s Song of the Week

Allergy Season is here so you better be prepared! Instead of Beyonce’s “Texas Hold ‘Em” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Kleenex Blow ‘Em!”

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Lyrics:
We Got Tulips (woo!) Frikkin’ Crocus (hey!)
Spreading Pollen ’round my Town
These Floral Blessings (woo!) If up me, Bruh… (hey!)
I’d mow ew all down down down down (mow em down)
Cuz my allergies got me feeling blue
Make a real weird face, before I say “Achoo!”

Got my eyes all itchy, Lookin redder than a bloodhound,
Whoa, here comes twenty sneezes in a row now Woo!
(‘choo!)

Like a blowhole, (like a blowhole)
From Free Willy (from free willy)
You’ll Need a Poncho (need a ponch)
If you stand near me (If you get near me)
Coughin’, Wheezin’ (Mostly Sneezing)
BARELY Survivin’ (Barely alive and)
It Feels Like Family Double Dare, the way I’m Sliming!

Oooo, If I Step outside
My face starts swelling like Rocky after every fight
Oooo, Nothing I do helps
Put Creamer in your Coffee, I need Benadryl in Mine

Grab your Kleenex (woo!) And just blow em (hey!)
Red Nose raw, as a pound of Ground Round
Poppin’ Zyrtecs, like Planters peanuts
So Much Phlegm, I almost drowned

And My Sinuses have been clogged up too
My Breaths Sound like in Darth Vader’s suit!
It’s a Real big Problem, I Ain’t Never be “the Bachelor”
Rose Ceremony’d be an Allergy Disaster (Woo!)
I got Hepa Filters in Every Room
Eatin’ More Raw Honey than Winnie the Pooh
That Outdoor Wedding I attended really went south
Rag Weed Pollen, Got me Sneezin’ thru the whole vows

“Do you Jessica take this man to be your lawfully wedded…”
AH-CHOO!

“To have & to hold from this day forward, in sickness and…”
AH-CHOO!

“If anyone has a reason this couple should not be wed, speak now or… ”
AH-CHOO!

“Look, I know you’re the best man, but maybe you should just go sit in the car…”

Had a first date, (Had a first date)
What a Fiasco! (What a Fiasco)
Spicing up her plate (Spicing up her plate)
with Nose Tasbasco! (Nose Tabasco)
I tried to Hold It, but lost the Battle
Man I just wish we weren’t kissing when It happened!

Oooo, On Spirit Airlines
I’m Sat down in the Middle Seat, just Hackin’ the Whole Time
Oooo, I ruined Yoga Class!
Cuz during Downward Dog, let out a Two side Sonic Blast

I ain’t infectious! (woo!) Ain’t no COVID! (hey!)
So everyone calm down down down…
I just get restless around Baby’s Breath, cuz
That tiny bloom, Straight knocks me out

In the line at Country Buffet for Food
Their Sneeze-guard Really ain’t no Match for you
Keep Raining Down Boogies, like a Bunch of Mortar Shell Rounds
Manager said: “Go Shut the Salad Bar Down”

When the Spring time comes, no it ain’t no Fluke
My Nose Blasts like an Oppenheimer Nuke!
Need a Plastic Bubble if I ever wanna go out
Run away Screamin’, if I see a Daffodil Sprout! (Woo!)