Source: YouTube

If you have a New Year’s Resolution there’s a PRETTY GOOD chance it’s way too lofty. No worries, Young Jeffrey has just the thing for you!

Instead of One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” it’s Young Jeffrey’s “Make Your Goals More Doable”

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Lyrics:
New years I swore, I’d change for sure…
So took my standards & Dropped em to the Floor
Just waking up? eh, that’s good Enough
No Gryffindor, I’ll settle for Hufflepuff

Losing ten pounds will be Super Easy
Once I Catch Stomach Flu

I’m gonna take baby steps to improve my Health
Order some extra Lettuce in my Taco Bell
Still drinking Lattes, but now they’re with almond Milk
New Years Goals
Make ’em more achievable!

Adding Legumes to my Food Routine
Start buying Haagen-Dazs made with Vanilla Beans
When I eat Oreos now, I’ll just lick the Creme
No Keto! Oh oh,
Stop Being Delusional! Oh Oh!
Make Your Goals more Do-able

The Plans You Drawn? They Came & Gone
Like Taylor and Travis, Mine still Goin Strong!
This Whole Month I, Swore I’d go Dry
Only get Drunk, on the Driest of White Wines!

Said I would read for an Hour a Day, so I
Turned Captions on Hulu

I’m gonna Exercise More, look like Michael Phelps
Cuz just by lifting a Fork, I work out my Delts
Take a Long walk at the mall, buying Bigger Belts
Getting Yoked!
Sofa Squats, they ain’t no Joke!

Can’t I Be Fit, and also Lazy?
I’ll Try a New sport, As long as It’s Cardio-Free
Like maybe Darts or Bowling, something Beer-Friendly!
With Pretzels!
Crushing All my News years goals
Setting Expectations Low!

NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA NACHOS
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA (It’s Jaw Exercise!)
NA-NA-NA-NA, ‘NOTHER PLATE OF NACHOS
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA…

No Need to search for True Love, when you Love yourself
I’ve Done that three times today, with a Website’s Help
Promise at least Once a Month, Check my works E-mail
In Cabo…
Use Up All My P-T-O!

I’m gonna Take Extra Care of My Mental Health
Stop Using WebMD to Diagnose myself
And puke inside of my Ubers, with way more Stealth
They Won’t Know, oh oh!
Hide it in the Pocket Folds

Don’t overwhelm myself Socially
Talk More ‘bout Crypto, so people won’t talk to me
Try to take less photos of every meal I eat

New Years Goals!
Not The Kind that Suck your Soul
Gotta set that Bar so Low-oh oh!
That Jon Taffer couldn’t save it, Bro!

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